So you have guests at your place. Not the irritating ones, but the ones whom you love to have around you. You are busy chatting with them, sharing a hearty laugh and enjoying the company. The clock in your dining space goes tick tock tick tock. Though you love your guests, you are also keeping an eye on the clock from the corner of your eyes. And then it strikes 9!
And you go berserk. You cannot wait to bid good-bye to your guest and rush to have a seat in front of your television set. This is what we call the SW syndrome, soap-worm! We will find plenty of Indian men, women and kids who won’t miss a single episode of their favorite show. How do you know your friend or partner is a soap-worm? These 14 signs tell you how big a worm your close one is!
1. You are Emotionally Attached to the Characters
So your favorite character has died for, like what, the fifth time? Instead of laughing at the disastrous script, you feel sad. You even shed tears secretly. And then that character comes back screwing with another heroine leaving his own one, because, well, he is suffering from memory loss. Cheapo! But forget criticizing, you pray for his speedy recovery. Chances are that you have become emotionally attached with those characters. Too bad!
2. You Walk and Talk like your Favorite Character
So that particular agony aunt in the show mouths a “Hello Hi Bye Bye” innumerable times in one episode, a particular character talks in a certain comic manner and you go insane. You forget that you are in public and start talking like her, inviting yourself to some nasty looks from passer bys. But you do not give a damn, because you are busy imitating your favorite character. What the hell?
3. You Secretly Google for Missed Episodes
Okay, this guest decides to stay for long and you curse him or her from the core of your heart. After they leave, you cannot just wait to turn on your laptop and watch the missed episode, secretly. Come on folks, there is something called ‘repeat telecast’, even your friends and family tell you that. Everything falls on your deaf ears. You plug in the headphone and get lost in the online episode of your favorite show!
4. Give Short Names to the Couple
So you Google for Arsha and even Google is clueless! You realize the sheer stupidity of your action and re enter the names, Arman and Tanisha and now Google follows your command obediently. You have this jobless Facebook community that worships particular reel couples of the telly world. You just don’t realize how cheesy those short names sound, because you find them cute!
5. You Overdose your Boyfriend with Stories of your Show
Romance has taken a backseat in your life. You understand well that the spark you and your partner used to have has started to fade. Wondering why? For god’s sake, your boyfriend is a guy, let him remain one. Remember the last time you met? You went on and on about how the aunt in the show is hatching plots to separate the lovey dovey couple. No wonder your boyfriend is now hatching plots to stay away from you.
6. You are on a Date with a Cute Guy, but want to get back Home before the Show Starts
You have been complaining about how no guy asks you out for a long time and your friends set you up with this guy. You guys are on a romantic date, but danger zone starts creeping in! The guy is too cute to leave, but back home thirty minutes of nonstop melodrama is waiting for you. You choose to choose the latter and leave in a hurry. Do not complain next time you are alone on V day.
7. Following Pages Dedicated to your show on Facebook
Your Facebook home page is cluttered with images and videos and updates of a particular show. Trust me, your friends have a tough time controlling that urge to unfriend you. But it does not matter to your heart which is already taken by that show. You just cannot stop hitting the ‘like’ button.
8. You do not Want to Pee or Poop while the Show is on
It happens and when it happens you know the intensity of the happening. You cannot decide which call to answer, nature’s call or Balaji Telefilms’ call. Okay, nature’s call can wait, right? You are a ‘certain serial’ maniac and you know that. Just a request, do not let nature take over the better of you while you’re trying to control it and give out rotten smelling gases. If you know what I mean!
9. A New Character Enters and you Go Mad
Everything was going perfect. You were mad and everybody around you had come to terms with it. But now a new character has entered your favorite show that is making everybody’s life heel on screen. Your madness reaches a whole new level and you’re pretty much doing the same job off screen. To your friends, your family, relatives, partner, everybody.
10. Your Friends are Worried about you
It is inevitable. Ever since you have started watching the show, you are no longer the same guy or girl you used to be. They call you up because they are in trouble, but all you do is to bombard them with whatever happened in the latest episode. They are worried about you. They might even think to have a word with your parents.
11. You tell them you’re Fine, and then feel Sorry about it
Your concerned friends ask you what’s wrong, but you shoo them off saying that you are fine. You answer all their questions with a straight face and make them believe that you are fine. But deep inside you know you’re not. You eat, talk, sleep, walk and do every possible activity thinking about that show. You definitely need help.
12. Weekend Blues
Your favorite show does not come on weekends. So you’re one among those rare species who do not like weekends. Spending two days without your show becomes next to impossible for you and you keep wishing that weekends were of 12 hours each day. Don’t say this aloud, like ever, else you’re going to be boycotted.
13. You are Ready to Break up With your Partner if he/she says anything Against your Show
It becomes intolerable for your partner to tolerate this obsession you have. He/she tries explaining you with rational reasoning. But that person just provides you enough reasons to think of separation. Has this ever happened to you? Chances are that you have really gone crazy.
14. You Suffer from Existential Crisis when the Show gets Over
So after stretching what started on a sweet note like a chewing gum, when the makers decide to wrap up the show, everybody sighs with relief. But you are the doomed one. That particular day is like judgment day, following which you suffer from existential crisis. That time slot is replaced with a new show, but you go “What now?” It’s gonna take a lot of time to heal this wound.
By: Titli Basu
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