Read the autobiography of a security camera who come from a small town factory in the US & have been living in Patel Indian Grocery store since then!

Cam-1: My name is cam. Security Cam! Does it sound like I flicked it from a James Bond Film? Well I sometimes get inspired by what I see and I can’t help it as the Desi (Indian) uncle in this Patel grocery store watches these movies while waiting for customers, in a corner that has been allocated to run his DVD rentals and Indian jewelry section in Mr. Patel’s shop. Why do I call him uncle? Well, what do I know? I was born in a small town factory in the US and have been living in Patel Indian Grocery store since then. I see so many Indians address each other mostly as “uncles” or “aunties”.

SECURITY CAMERA Autobiography of a Security Camera in an Indian Store in US

You know sometimes I see these people who themselves look much older but it’s funny to see them address others as “aunties” and “uncles”. But, what do I know? I come from a small town factory in the US and have been living in Patel Indian Grocery store since then. Mr. Patel is like the god of my universe (I heard humans have many). And within this universe I live close to the desi uncles section who sells Indian movie DVD’s and jewelry. I do not know how much jewelry he sold, but it says he has several carrots.

Cam-2: Its “carats” not carrots you dim-witted, Made in China security cam.

Cam-1: Don’t mind him. Cam-2 is a bit obnoxious you know, he comes from a small town assembly near Shanghai and he thinks all us security cams hail from the same place. Coming back to my “Digital” life, Mr. Patel actually doesn’t bother about us much. He never actually cares to clean and service us. Sometimes if he does that, it makes us feel good and wanted you know. Cam-2 actually thinks if there is ever a god (well he is a non-believer in Mr. Patel) he wants to ask him as to why our lives are being wasted watching over Indian eggplants, Masalas, MTR Rasam powders and some DVD’s.

He thinks there are other universes outside of Mr. Patel’s store and it might actually be possible to explore them after reaching them by space travel. Well he saw one Mr. Rajnikant sir doing space travel you know, on one of the DVD’s being played. Very interesting! Frankly I do admit it’s quite impressive how he seems to break the boundaries of space and time. Me, if I ever get to do like him, I would like to go and meet that new fancy security cam that they talk of. It’s a star you know watching us from a pedestal at the entrance of the store. But, what do I know? I come from a small town factory in the US and have been living in Patel Indian Grocery store since then!

Cam-2: Why don’t you stop griping about your dull digital life in a 360 degrees swivel motion and start adding some humor and spice to your story. They will like it!

Cam-1: Please Mr. Cam-2, feel free to be my guest and why don’t you fill us in with some of your interesting stories. After all you are one of the latest versions with a born talent of “Pixilated Auto correction”.

Cam-2: OK, (Cam-2 adjusts), But what do I know…. Just kidding! Why don’t you talk about some interesting stuff like that middle aged aunty (no offense aunty) who picks up Coriander (Dhania) from other bundles and shoves it into the one she lifted to make it fatter. You know that one who speaks with a funny accent. The one who whose accent is stuck between Indian born and American born! Trrrrr (Security cam giggling sound). And how Mr. Patel all the while notices it and mentions it to his wife. He did extract his sweet revenge you know, when that aunty came back with a rotten coconut that she had bought last week for an exchange. All the color on her face (she uses one on her hair too!) and her accent were lost when Mr. Patel politely explained to her that what’s inside a coconut can only be guaranteed by god! OMG, ROSL (Rolling on the Stand laughing). Even Mr. Patel’s store help who tries to impress him by stuffing all items into a single bag to the extent that it tears (as if he were saving money for the store) doesn’t like her.

Cam-1: Trrrrr (Security cam giggling sound). Aaah how dull our digital lives would be without you Cam-2, but please be polite. Humans are our gods. They make us or break us.

Cam-2: And that desi dude you know, the one who sweats in a leather jacket hiding his pot belly even in the summer and wearing a cap even during nights to hide his bald patches. You know he chirps his BMW keychain to make a noise whenever he sees someone interesting worth showcasing it to. He thinks drinking a ThumsUp in a certain way is still hip, ROSL (Rolling on the Stand laughing)

Cam-1: And that funny American guy who looks at the packet of papads like he is in a space X laboratory. Everything is a wonder for him in Mr. Patel’ store!

Cam-2: Now you are talking Cam-1!

Cam-1: OK, enough of laughing at our god’s expense. I thought it was only us cams that had so many settings you know, but those poor humans, even they have so many trials and tribulations. Do you remember that Hindu priest? It seems he is from a very far off galaxy called India like Mr. Patel is. He used to walk in freezing temperatures to the Indian store initially when he came to the US. He used to live on a pittance and was always worried about his old parents back in a small town in India. And by the time he gathered some moolah to invite over his aged father and mother they were already too old to travel.

Cam-2: Yes poor guy, he should have learnt some from his predecessor the “Yoyo” priest with an accent and a pony tail. You know the voicemail greeting on his phone was blessing in Sanskrit (mantra) but only half. The rest the devotee had to see him in person and shell some dollars before being blessed completely.

Cam-1: And finally that poor chap Ramesh who always seems to be carrying a burden on his shoulder, always worried about something called a Green card. I have been hearing him talk about this “Green” card since many years now. You remember how cheerful, young, excited and happy he used to look when we saw him many years ago in the store. Now he is all sullen and faded, still talking about that Green card albeit in a lost tone being harassed by his company. He has his own kids now. I wonder if he wants to go back to where he came from. Whenever he talks of India it lightens up his face. But, what do I know? I come from a small town factory in the US and have been living in Patel Indian Grocery store since then!

Cam-2: “I think whatever this India is it seems very colorful. I can get the panoramic view of its diversity by looking at all the flyers and posters of the Indian festivities and its culture on the wall from my myriad angles of it. From the mustard fields of Punjab yellow and full of hues of life during Holi, to the smells and lights of Navaratri in Gujarat when even the skies seem to be lit with happiness and fervor, to the sights of the mouth watering delicacies of the South filled in a divine atmosphere created out of its classical grandeur in music. Seems like the perfect place for happiness“

Cam-1: Do you think our god Mr. Patel will ever move back to this world called India? I wonder if they even need us security cams over there. But, what do I know? I come from a small town factory in the US and have been living in Patel Indian Grocery store since then!

By: TheIndianMuse @theindianmuse

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