Shocking, isn’t it? In the Indian context, if you happen to come across someone who says she doesn’t want to become a mother ever and it’s a conscious decision on her part, then your first reaction would be of utter disbelief. Come on think about it, a women’s sole purpose of living is to give birth. Isn’t it? Well that’s what we have been made to believe that motherhood comes naturally to every female. That’s the reason we get married right?
Society runs smoothly if all women think and feel that way and I doubt Indian women have the guts to actually put forward what they really feel in this context. If you are married and don’t have children that means you have a medical issue. People start sympathizing with you. No one will get it that you consciously chose not to be a mom because you have other plans in life. No doubt children are the best gift one can have but what about those people who don’t want that gift and have chosen a path that has no place for that gift and are much happier that ways. People who eat non-vegetarian think how someone could possibly survive without meat. But they are surviving right? And they are happily surviving. Same is the case here. You can’t impose your feelings on other women just because you are a happy mother. May be they are much happier singles.
Motherhood is a serious business and comes with a lot of responsibility. This can’t be imposed on each and every lady who is married. She has a life of her own, dreams and goals of her own, things that she wants to achieve before she succumbs to a responsibility as big as bringing up a child. The feeling of motherhood or the want to be a mother might not come naturally to her, that doesn’t mean she is not a real woman. For a matter of fact she is a conscious lady who knows that this is not for her and has the guts to express her true self. I guess she is more responsible than all the other ladies who just succumb to the pressure of motherhood thinking that if they don’t reproduce their feminity would be put to shame. As a result we have mothers who have sacrificed careers, dreams, have fight with their spouses on who will wake up in the middle of the night to feed the baby.
Also we need to understand we don’t get married just to shoot out offsprings. We get married for companionship, love and support. If one wishes to start a family then it’s good but if one doesn’t then that’s also not bad.
In an already over populated country, let’s give the ladies some breathing space and let them decide if they really want to be mothers and enjoy the bliss. And if someone says they are not sure or don’t want to be mothers ever lets respect their decision. There is much in the world to see, mountains to be explored, seas to sail, books to write, medicines to invent, movies to make, parties to attend. If that’s what their life’s calling is let’s leave them alone. We need a happy country and not an overpopulated unhappy one.
By Akuti Ojah
Image Source: Unpacking the “F” word@Feminism