Wake up at the time for which you specifically set your alarm last night and promised to adhere to. Leave your bed after the fourth snooze. Make a mental note to buy the alarm that runs away from your bedside when it rings. Look at your bed; decide not to make it because no one cares about how your room looks. It’s your room, anyway. Remind yourself you’re not being lazy but you’re saving time. Look into the mirror and tell yourself you look great; not because you love yourself for who you are, but because you’re too lazy to take a shower. Open your cupboard and pick out the first thing you see; the clothes which just got ironed the day before. Pretend you don’t see the item of clothing you recently bought on which you may have splurged a little too much but justified it by promising to wear it a lot. Pick out the most comfortable-yet-politically correct footwear you have and wear them. Fashion and all is fine, but comfort is more important, yes?
Walk into the kitchen/dining room. Chances are you have someone making breakfast for you; your mother, your wife or the didi who works in your house. Eat whatever you get without paying any attention to it while checking your phone for messages/Whatsapps/tweets or whatever it is that you are addicted to. If you have to make your breakfast yourself, God forbid you choose eggs or an oatmeal preparation with yogurt and fruit. That is so much time you’re wasting! Reach for that packet of chips leftover from last night and buy a Starbucks coffee on your way. You just saved time, and had carbohydrates. Congratulate yourself on making such good decisions.
Reach your office/college and greet people halfheartedly; be careful to only recognize those in your immediate range of sight. This will prevent you from having to answer social, even friendly questions like how your weekend was. It might even start a conversation; who wants that, right? No social anxiety and time saved.
Leave a message/Whatsapp/BBM to that friend you should talk to more often asking her how she is. She replies with exciting updates about her life and asks you if you want to meet up later. Politely say no and lie that you really need to catch up on going to the gym. Of course, that was just to avoid an awkward moment because let’s face it; you’re not going to waste time going to the gym. Convince yourself you will actually start going from tomorrow.
Get done with all your work/studies for the day with the least amount of effort and interest and leave for home. Reach home and leave your work/suitcase on your bed in your messy room. Watch T.V till dinner time. Make sure it isn’t anything remotely knowledgeable or intellectually stimulating. If you’re going to watch something on the idiot box, you’re going to do it right. Yell out to your mom/wife/domestic help to get you chai. You love them. They take care of you, cater to your every need and even get the remote for you from the opposite corner of the bed you’re sitting on. You know you should thank them sometime or even have a conversation every now and then, but they’re not going anywhere. They’re always going to be there for you. They’re easy to be with because they don’t ask for anything in return. Try not to think whether the reason for that is because they’ve given up trying.
My ambition is handicapped by laziness. – Charles Bukowski http://t.co/HWzZfwlVpk
— Wise Quotes (@wisequotesnet) November 10, 2013
Decide to order in food for dinner because life is just too short. And besides, you’re going to the gym from tomorrow, right? You could try to develop a new skill set by learning how to cook, but there’s always tomorrow.
Chips are easy. Switching to fruits takes immense will-power. Just getting through your day with eyes half open is easy too. You know you will always submit that document/brief that meeting by preparing just before the deadline, so you’re safe. T.V is easier than gym, as is wearing whatever you can lay your hands on. This is your guide to an easy life.
Status Quo is easy. Being unhealthy and unfit is easy. Laziness is definitely easy. That’s not how life is supposed to be; it’s supposed to be and will be hard the day you actually start living. You can always choose to live an easy life. Living an easy life is easy. But do you really want to settle for mediocrity? Are you sure you want ‘easy’?
Don’t think about it too much, it’s a waste of time. Change the T.V. channel instead.
By Pallavi Prasad
Image Source: Laziness@Facebook