Sarika announced while waiting for the others in the group at the college canteen –‘Hey! Its valentines and I wanna fall in love!’
‘I am seventeen and I still don’t have a girlfriend.’
Kamna told her bestie Suzzane, seeing red heart shaped balloons being sold at the traffic signal –
‘This Valentines will be my third break up!’
The idea of falling in love is so beautiful… it actually is more beautiful than falling in love itself.
So when u hear your bestie wickedly saying ‘He proposed me today’… you instantly want to kill her… but instead… you smile and hug her and say ‘I am so happy for you’
The truth is… you are extremely unhappy and you so much want to be in her place. In simple words… you too want to fall in love.
The basic need, the craving, to fall in love emerges from the deep seeded urge to be loved. And this urge is a by-product of years of not loving yourself.
Years of conditioning has gone into building your low self-esteem. So much so that… you feel you are not worth being loved and so you have even stopped bothering to love yourself.
Know that you are beautiful… know that you are deserving of love… know that you will receive infinite love from all corners, only if, you first love yourself.
Falling in love with someone is the most self-gratifying feeling… a feeling which is unparalleled not because it’s special but because you haven’t felt love before.
So next time your bestie says ‘He proposed me’ think deeply… he proposed her with flowers he bought from his dad’s hard earned money… he took her out for a date by bunking college. A guy who would really know what love is would have the courage to propose her without a single penny spent that he hasn’t earned. A guy who knows what love is would never let her bunk college and take her out for a date.
This may sound weird at this point of time in life, almost like one of the sermons your parents give you. But at later point in life these are the qualities you will try to search in your partner… that is… “If” your love story ever culminates into marriage.
“True” love and “pehla pehla pyaar” are beautiful feelings but only when enacted by actors on screen. The glossy candy floss romantic fairy-tale like romance are great writers creation to manipulate their audiences into buying their idea.
Have you ever heard that any of your friend’s boy-friend came like the knight with shining armour? Fairy tales and Hindi films have messed up our lives for life.
Come out of it and smell the coffee dear. Love is not about pop up musical cards or pink roses or run away dates or long past mid-night whatsapp chats … or flaunting FB statuses, alone ….love is much more than these hollow gestures of unfulfilled wish of being loved.
This may sound gender biased and before people shout intolerance, let me add, it is the same other way round.
When your buddy takes u around shopping for a Valentines gift for his newly found love… and after having bought a number of stupidly childish knickknacks for your best friend’s girl-friend… you are wondering if you too could be doing this if you would have had a girl friend to flaunt.
You cannot deny you fall in love with every girl who is remotely beautiful and smiles at you.
It’s not love dear… its simply suppressed emotions as a result of being born in a hypocritical society where touch of opposite sex is taboo.
It’s not love dear its high levels of repressed testosterone which for long you have buried under your blanket.
Surely you entered the big fancy world of college with the idea that you would be a free bird and have “fun”.
You waste hours waiting for your ‘pumpkin pie’ which later in life you shall curse yourself for having wasted.
You lied to your parents a number of times for a lad who dumped you after two dates because you didn’t let him kiss you.
You lost your parents trust for life for a girl who dumped you because she thought you were too narrow minded for her.
You are day in and day out bruising your long lasting relations for a relation which has not even the gall to last more than one season.
Focus! Get a goal! Get a life! … Love will happen… Don’t make it happen.
Years you waste now in searching for your “true” love will never return.
Anything like “True” love, if it does exist, it will find you.
Live in relations are today convenient for this very reason. Let’s check out if we are compatible… if not… you go your way… I go my way. Fair enough!
But think …a relationship which you started off on the base of probability… do you think it will be everlasting. Most probably no!
So dear gals n guys don’t be sad if on this valentine’s day you don’t have a bf or gf …don’t sigh on seeing romantic couples out on a date flaunting their new found love for each other …don’t be jealous of your girlie friend’s “Pink teddy bear” she got as a valentines gift from, you know who.
Instead, buy yourself a gift… treat yourself with a meal… dress up like never before… look stunning… peep into your mirror and for a change… tell yourself how much you love yourself.
Coz in loving ourselves do we discover Love… “True”? Guess so…!
To give we need to have it first.
Fill the reservoir till its brim so when it overflows it spreads over to others.
The world will not change overnight for you but you shall surely notice a smile on your face, a genuine one, probably better than the one your friend had when she showed you her valentine’s cards.
Love is a force! A power! A Prayer!
When the twinkle on your face fades off… when you shall not be as attractive as you are today… when you shall be caught in daily routine and monotonous life games… that’s when you shall need it the most… Love …
Love shall help you sail through all of that and more …
You wouldn’t wait for valentine’s day … You would celebrate little things together… The coy glances… while “He” would cut the veggies and “She” would do the laundry.
…Because love is not Living in and sampling like a chocolate it’s in living and growing together…
This Valentine’s … come fall in Love … Love with yourself !
Raj and Simran can go take a jump…
By Nozzer Pardiwala
Author: Lovedale ~Married to Life