Sick of the weird matrimonial ads? Tired of the constant parental pressure? Here’s an idea of an intelligent marriage resume which can help you stay single as long as you desire

Matrimonial AD 1 

My name Arthi….. i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy to marry me soon…. who may be in the same caste . If anyone want to Marie to me u
can visit to my home

Matrimonial AD 2

My daughter is a simple, honest, fun loving and adjustable girl. she has been born and brought up at Kolkata Education-wise, sge has completed B. Teach in Mechanical Now she is pursuing ME from Jadavpur university and also working in a very famous company. She is very caring, cultural and a social girl. She is a believer of God and his avtars. I want a personalized a good nature groom for my daughter

funny wedding photos ooooh An Intelligent Marriage Resume of An Indian Boy

Have you lately been tortured by such matrimonial ads on matrimonial websites? Where a girl desires a good minded man “with clean habits” and her father demands a “personalized good nature groom” for his daughter? No wonder, your mom insists you to choose a bride soon since you are already reaching your 30s and the girl in the matrimonial ad is not just fair and lovely, but also “Adjustable” like the handle of your frying pan or a pressure cooker perhaps.

You are constantly been urged to click a photograph where your parents insist that you look like a gentleman in suits or kurta pyjama and not a gutter snipe or street urchin like you appear on all your social media accounts. Then begins round one, the circulation of photographs where your folks send it to multiple girls.

And just when you get to know some girl had showed some interest in your photograph, you are left speechless, not because the girl rejected you but because her father rejected you. The reason? Her father actually consults an astrologer, the horoscope doesn’t match and you are royally rejected by the girl’s father and his minion, astrologer. Period!

funny wedding photos evolutions An Intelligent Marriage Resume of An Indian Boy

So, as a cynical bachelor (well, that’s what you might be addressed as your folks), if you want to avoid all these exercises, you just take the responsibility of updating your marriage resume from your parents and fill the details as follows:

Marriage Objective:

Since, I have spent a lot of time in long relationships, I’m looking to utilize all my previous experience in harmony management and listening skills, to the benefit of my potential marriage partner. I’m proficient in conflict management, planning and also in father or mother-in-law exposure. Having relationships in high stress, I can deal with all issues including mood swings.  I have had my exposures with fear of commitment, which apparently has multiplied my marriage skills.

Experience :

Sujata (October 2011 to October 2014) – Longest relationship


Dealt with complex family dynamics.

Managed strong mood swings.

Reasons of Breakup – She was crazy (just saying)

Preeti (August 2007 – September 2009)


Abstained from swearing

Reasons for breakup: Fear of commitment

Key Skills

Expert at  swearing

Manage all  sorts of problems after getting drunk.

Personal Details:

Name : Cynical Retard

Age : Ideal for marriage

Kundli : Perfect to be a ghar jamai

Religion: Atheist has no religion,right?

Caste : They say I’m outcasted. Phew!

Complexion : Racist – I hate them

Height : When I bend, you can see my bald spot..

Weight : Just few kgs less than Ram Kapoor, your favorite TV actor. But no worries, will soon add up those extra kilos…

Education Qualification : Diploma in Daamadgiri from Robert Vadra’s Institute

Preference : Any girl who after reading this resume, falls in love with me, and get a sudden urge to marry, me and only me….

Guys and Gals, Do comment in if you are interested…..Oh yes, you see I don’t discriminate between the two 😉

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