Scene I – Jodha’s father Bharmal after fearing possible Cyber Attack by Akbar goes to meet him with a marriage proposal of his elder daughter Jodha aka Jo
Bharmal: Hola the Cyber King Jalaluddin Mohammad.
Akbar: Oh, Please call me JM! Anyways, so, are you Bharmal, the one who sent me a Friend’s request yesterday?
Bharmal: Oh yes, yes I’m the one. Thanks for accepting my friend’s request. Did you see my dp, the one in which my three daughters are taking their selfie? Well, if you ask your brother in law Sharif-Ud-Din to leave my son, I shall marry off my elder daughter to you…
(Akbar logins in his FB account and checks the picture confirming with Bharmal who among the three she is)
Akbar: Ah, she looks hot! Well, Raja Bharmal I like your simplicity and straight forwardness. I’m ready to marry your daughter and in return will leave your sons too.
Jodha Akbar Scene II – Raja Bharmal Back At Home in Amer
Bharmal: Damn! I need a shower.
Bharmal’s Wife: How was the trip? Did he said “yes” to your proposal? You know the media people are already here. I don’t know how did they know about your meeting.
Bharmal comes to address the media people
1st Reporter: You are marrying your daughter to a foreign invader so that your Internet security is assured, doesn’t that bring shame to you?
2nd Reporter: What kind of father you are to bet your daughter in Cyber Crime, isn’t there IPL?
3rd Reporter: We have heard that he has links with goons and dons of neighboring countries – Is that true? Did you meet them also?
Bharmal: I have already tweeted my side of the story and I think 140 characters is enough to explain my current status as well as my condition. And by the way, before you guys start making fun of me like Rajnikanth and Alok Nath, I’ll delete my account and so you better don’t threaten me.
Dadisa Interrupts and says in Bharmal’s ears – Beta, these are media people and not kids on social media. They have no idea about how to trend things on Twitter, so don’t waste your time. Go inside and I shall handle them.
Dadisa being intelligent knows that media can easily be manipulated by the rich and powerful, she invites them inside the palace. What’s more the Bharmal’s arrange a cocktail party along with models to entertain the media crowd.
Scene III – Jodha’s mom Mainavati Reveal the News to Jodha
Jodha is busy chatting on phone
Mainavati: Jo-dha stop flirting, I have a news for you – “We have fixed your marriage!”
Jodha: Oh ma, not again, I really don’t like these Rajput guys.They maybe rich but they are miser and are very boring. They don’t have a life, all they know is their work and only work. Besides, I don’t want to marry a guy from my own community you know that and you are also aware that I have a boyfriend.
Mainavati: I am no Besanti and so I will come straight to the point. Look, Jodha he is not a Rajput but a Moslem, the outsider, Akbar.
Jodha: Oh my God, are you serious? The same Akbar who became the king of cyber world just at the age of 13? Wow, that’s an awesome news. I really cannot believe this, do you really mean I’ll be marrying that reach and powerful JM? I wouldn’t have mind the half Italian RaGa also. But JM sounds better as he is smart and very witty unlike the cute Mama’s boy RaGa.
Starts day dreaming… Wow, I will finally not roam in Honda city but Mercedes Benz, Audi and Porsche. Besides, he is so handsome unlike the local Rajput software engineers here that my parents been urging me to marry from long. Oh, I just cannot wait wearing those diamond necklaces.
Mainavati Interrupts…”Oh but you said you have a boy friend.”
Jodha: Oh, I’ll manage that, you just say dad I’m ready for the marriage. However, mention him that I have certain demands, I’m sure he’ll accept after all he has written some really flattering comments on my dp and cover photo.
Scene IV – Marriage day of Jodha Akbar
Jodha in the marriage hall announces that she has certain demands
Jodha: I shall not wear the typical Salwar Kameez but dress that please me like Jeans, Skirts, one piece, hot pants etc.
Akbar: Qubool Hai thinking, the sexier the better.
Jodha: I have done my MBA and so I won’t be a housewife. You have to give me in writing that I will be allowed to work even after my marriage. I wouldn’t mind working in the internal business of yours if you give me the department of finance, after all I have specialized in MBA finance..
Akbar: Qubool Hai, thinking he won’t have to appoint another employee and in the process he might save lots of money.
Jodha: My third and last demand is I need a separate house wherein only you and me can stay. I do not want to stay in the crowd of two mother-in-laws. I have seen all Ekta Kapoor serials and I know how bitchy they can turn.
Scene V – Jodha Meets Akbar’s love, girlfriend and first wife Ruqaiya
Ruqaiya: So, you are that bitch!
Jodha: I’m no bitch you red haired blonde.
Ruqaiya: Don’t dare crossing my path or I will permanently throw you out of this area.
Jodha: Oh really?
Maham Anga Enters and Shouts, “Girls stop your cat fights and get ready for the Page 3 Kitty Party before the Delhi girls take all the limelight!”
Scene VI – JM Takes Jo Out For Their Honeymoon in Bangkok
JM: Alright, you stay here, I’ll be back in two hours. I have some work
Jo: Oh, what work?
JM: Nothing that you can understand.
Jo Thinks Hard and says Ok! Later she is really relaxed to see JM out of sight, only to browse videos on Youtube which she missed of her favorite serials.
Scene VII – Ruqaiya Begum Morphs Jodha Begum’s Images and Leaks a MMS Clip
Ruqaiya to JM: See, I told you she is not only a bitch but also a slut. But, you never understand what I try to say.
JM: oh, I don’t believe this, looks like it has been morphed.
Calls Cyber Expert To Analyze.
Cyber Expert: Sir, by no means this looks like morphed, this is indeed real.
Ruqaiya: See I told you….
JM calls Jo in his room.
Meanwhile Ruqaiya pays bribe to the cyber expert for talking against Jodha.
JM: Jo, I never expected you to do such a thing before marriage.
Jo: Believe me JM, this Ruqs is just being jealous. No ways I have done this. Look at the guy in the MMS, do you think I would ever prefer a guy like him? I do have standards. I can surely tell you that I am not in this MMS after you see the video clip which have me and my ex.
By: Deepti Verma
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