I have a theory.
There are certain things which exponentially increase your chances of facing your own personal disaster.
Here’s my list of lurking disasters –
1. While wearing something white
I generally avoid wearing white, it is just too much work. I have to concentrate on every minute movement of mine. I don’t really care much when I’m wearing any other color. But with white, it is a whole different kind of pressure test.
But I have noticed, that when I am wearing white, the chances of someone flicking their pen nib on my t-shirt or a drop of pasta sauce falling on it drastically jumps to 90%. Nope, the pen nib REFUSES to touch you when you are wearing blue. Why? Because the color will blend in it. Oh no, it just needs to stand out. So it finds white!
2. When you’ve JUST done your nails and the paint isn’t dry yet
This is one of the major reasons why painting my nails annoys me. Nope. My nails does not hit the table when it is dry or when there isn’t any nail paint on it. Nor does it touch any of the other fingers “accidentally” on a normal day. But yes, it will invariably find something to hit and ruin the paint when there is roughly 10 seconds left for the paint to dry.
I can almost hear this conversation happening between them – “Fifteen seconds to dry. No. 3, do you copy?” “Copy that. No. 1 in position. Striking in 3.5 seconds.” *3 seconds later* “Code Red. Code Red. Window of opportunity is closing” *wham* My index finger hits the random mug that I don’t seem to recall placing on my table. Nail paint? Looked like an infused version of a blue wart with goo. “Mission Accomplished.”
3. When you buy something new
Can I please please mention that guy who was the first one to buy the iPhone 6 AND was also the first one to drop it on live television? I laughed so hard when I read it. It wasn’t exactly his fault. I’m telling you, chances of a disaster waiting to happen increases by multiple folds when you have something brand new in your hand.
I remember this one time my dad bought me a new phone after my previous phone (which was a hand-me-down by the way) withered and died. I had it for barely an hour when I decided to to toss it on the bed. It did a double flip, hit the bed (I’d have liked it to stop moving right there.), bounced right off it, and landed on the floor. I mean, come on! It NEVER happened when I was trying to break the old phone to get a new phone. It never bounced off. It always just landed on the bed.
4. On a bad hair day
Frankly, I love my hair. It’s black. it’s silky. it’s bouncy. it’s pretty. But there are these random days my hair just refuses to be tamed. It hates me. It does the opposite of what I want. Yeah, those days. Terrifying. So I go to the store, or college, confident about how I look because hey, everyone goes through these things.
Somehow, I don’t know why the universe does this to me, but it is on those random particular days that I see a cute guy, standing not quite far, who would have actually noticed me if I was looking my best that day. IF. Do you know about the day my hair actually was perfect? Nope. NOBODY KNOWS. :/ Why? Because it’s usually on one of those days I don’t need to step out of the house.
5. When there is something sharp within 2 meter radius
There is freakin’ a two meter radius and the only thing that that pair of scissors I left on the table yesterday has to find its way AND poke, is me. Just. Me.
The compass that was lying on my crush’s table? Oh yup, that’s right. I’m the target.
By: Prithvi Madhukar