Nitish says Modi Insulted Bihar when his helicopter showed its poonch (tail) to the crowd and Laloo sees a RSS conspiracy by a khaki wearing (postman) man, giving out his address to the devil!
Our dizzy logic correspondent reports from Patna that Nitish Kumar has declared that Modi has once again insulted Bihar and its people, when during an election rally about 300 kilometers North-East of Patna, Modi’s helicopter landed in a playground, showing its tail first, while a huge crowd of onlookers were cheering him.
“They are mostly BJP workers, but not the aam janta as Modi claims” said Nitish. But nonetheless they were Bihari’s and showing one’s poonch (tail) to the janta of Bihar is an insult to Bihar!”
When one of our dizzy logic correspondents pointed out that it was just the tail of a chopper, and it was only a machine, Nitish had this to say
“A poonch is a poonch bhai, showing it to us Bihari’s is an insult. And how dare Modi who is an outsider talk about my arrogance, when he himself insults Bihar like this!”
In protest against this act of the prime-minister and his helicopter, Nitish and his party JD(U)’s workers are planning to send tails in protest to Modi in Delhi.
“We will get any poonch (tail) and send it in protest, no matter whether it is a fake, a cow’s, a buffalo’s or a donkey’s!” said a JD(U) worker in Champaran.
Laloo Yadav, the chief of the RJD and Nitish’s ally was asked to comment on this and he said
“Yes, we along with our brothers in JD(U), and we will send millions of tails in protest to Modi, for having insulted the people of Bihar. Cow, Monkey, Donkey, it doesn’t matter! And how dare Modi asks who gave the devil my address? I know who it is. It was an RSS man in Khaki! See, here is a picture”
Our correspondent who got a chance to look at the picture saw a smiling postman, of the Department of Posts, wearing a Khaki uniform. When the correspondent pointed out that it was a postman, Lalooji had to say
“Sab Communal taakaton ka Shadyantr hai!” (It’s all a right-wing conspiracy)”. “Did you see how Modi landed with his right foot first? When landing down from the helicopter!” Lalooji further asked.
But some in BJP raised an issue with Laloo supporting the sending of cow’s tails in an act of protest to Modi. They said that it was an insult to the Yaduvanshi’s (Yadav’s) who since ages have been worshipping the cow. The BJP held protests everywhere and tried to enlist the support of the Yadav community in Bihar against Laloo Yadav’s statement.
Having realized his blunder, which might cost him politically Lalooji did a volt face (U-turn) and said that his brain was registered by the shaitaan, when he said it. And this besides, he blamed every politicians favorite punching bag, the mainstream media (No Lalooji, do not blame us! We do not come under it and we go by dizzy logic!) for distorting his comments.
And as a passing thought, our dizzy correspondent left a note in his DPTI (Dizzy-Logic Press Trust of India) wire.
“Wonder what Lalooji will say, if Modi asks in a rally as to who registered Lalooji’s name with the shaitaan at the registrar’s office? Hmmm, even the office-boy there wears Khaki!! Maybe it’s a Right-wing conspiracy!”
Author Bio: S Vadwlas is a Software architect based in the US, with an American Masters in Engineering and an undergraduate degree from India. He is a contributor to the Times of India. He has completed a writer’s course at the Writers center, Bethesda in Washington DC. His upcoming book Go Clown (Get High Legally!) is a Literary Fiction Comedy set in India, America, Nepal and Thailand. The author can be reached on Twitter at @goclown_book www.goclown.com
Disclaimer: This article is meant as a satire and has no resemblance to any facts. Any connections to possible incident or events are purely for humor purposes. The author neither does hold any political affiliations nor subscribe to any school of thought, nor is completely apolitical.
Image Source: 12