Punjabi ‘phere’ or 4 ‘laava’ as called, is more of a superstitious belief than what is taught to Sikhs by the great philosopher, Guru, teacher and Sant of all times.
Nowadays, people have created a myth and a false fear in the community that these 4 ‘laava’ should be performed before noon, as the hour then after is inauspicious . Besides, this is in contrary to Guru’s teachings and so the belief is making the young generation dislike and gradually not follow it. The kids nowadays are questioning on this issue. They are wondering how Punjabi religion is the only one enforcing such law, not any other religion.
Even after forcing this on children, marriages are failing and married life is a disaster. Married couples are separating, divorcing. They are unhappy with their families forcing this on them. This is a huge problem in Canada, USA and UK now. First, a marriage function lasts no less than a week. Then, the night before the wedding, family will have a get together that usually will last past midnight. This is so stressing for the to-be married couple.
Our families are just thinking of themselves, their own created marriage system. They should realize that this day is their child’s special day. It is for them, for their own future to come, a special day they want to cherish with soft and beautiful memories forever.Not wake up in the morning at 4 am and be so stressed and have dark circles and puffy eyes, and have eye-bags. No doubt make up will cover all this, but is the new bride supposed to enjoy this? Has anyone ever asked her what she wants? Has family ever discussed things with children? No! They just do what they are told.
Then these children are complaining how their ‘gora’ friends get married. It’s all about the couple to be. Educate the couple, tell them family values, teach them the marriage sanctity, the teachings passed on to us by our great Guru, Guru Nanak Devji.
I feel this belief is not taking our Sikh community anywhere. This bogus uneducated and false belief of marrying before noon is not a marriage saviour. It is a false notion.
I believe a couple to take vows should talk to a local priest about their married life and their parents should sit with children to explain the purity of it.
Published at indiaopines blog
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