What happens to love after marriage? Does it strengthen, does it evaporates or does marriage eventually puts a full stop to love? Most couples would agree that it evaporates and very few would say it strengthens. For those lucky folks who have found more love after marriage, Congratulations! For the rest of the gang, fear not, shit happens! Read on to know how to wipe the shit…
Why do men complain about no love, no intimacy after marriage and why women say he doesn’t love, care or have an interest in me anymore?
Let us have a look at a story
A girl and a boy madly in love decides to marry. On the first night they feel that they finally have their love with them and are in bliss. The honeymoon is awesome too. Soon comes little things in the form of hurdles. The first being the main issue, the girl doesn’t want to stay with her in laws, which has been a major problem in the contemporary India. Here the guy gets sandwiched between the two. Any decision makes him a loser and he is pressurized. If he takes any decision even if its good and a bit against the girl, the girl feels that before marriage he did so much for her but post marriage he doesn’t even listen to her. She feels the love has been lost and she is depressed. Her behavior pinches the guy, he thinks she is not adjustable although prior to marriage she was willing do anything to be with him. He thinks the love is lost.
Then welcome to the daily routine. The grocery, the cooking, the work of the home and so much. At the end of the day the poor woman become so tired that she doesn’t feel like being intimate on Saturday night but the man is really eager. Her “NO” makes him agitated and makes him think, she probably is not the same. While he may say her all the beautiful words and appreciating her sincerely she may not understand it because what she wants is not given to her.
If you look at the story closely, you’ll find that everything is same although the only thing that is wrong is the communication.
No matter what language you speak Hindi, Marathi, Gujarati, Tamil, Bengali, unless you understand the other person’s language, he or she won’t be able to comprehend your feelings. For instance, imagine a Marathi person speaking to a Bengali person politely. However, since the Bengali person doesn’t know Marathi, will he be able to understand? Absolutely, not. The same thing is applicable hereinafter marriage. The husband expresses all his love and care in his language but the woman doesn’t understand because she doesn’t understand his emotional language. Had the hubby helped her in her chores, tried to listen to her woes, she would feel that her husband still loves her but wordy appreciation like, Baby, you are so beautiful is not the primary language or otherwise emotional language that a wife understands although girlfriend would. The same is applicable to women expressing their love for their man but failing continuously.
One of the main things we have to do to sustain our love after marriage is to understand our partner’s emotional primary language. Communicating in primary language both verbally and non verbally will not only help couples to keep their love effective but make them soul mates and lovebirds forever.
Once you identify the emotional language of your partner, you will discover the magical key of ‘happy’ long-lasting marriages. We have specified happy because in India although there are many long lasting marriages, the majority of the wedded couples are not happy because in India we still do not go for divorces for many cultural and social reasons.
Either way you have to stay in a relationship, so why not make it all worthwhile by understanding the language of our partner and communicating it in a right way. If your partner doesn’t understand your language, make an effort to learn theirs and you’ll never complain of love evaporating but touching you always.
Now, that you are enlightened with this magic formula, are you ready to understand your husband/wifey’s emotional language ?