Renowned philanthropist and gift item manufacturer Santa Claus was apprehended by AAP workers in Delhi for allegedly distributing unlawful gifts, and was later sent to AAP headquarters, where he confessed to his crime after Kumar Vishwas recited three back-to-back poems to him.
The incident happened when Mr. Claus was entering Delhi via Gurgaon-Palam road for his annual gift distribution ceremony. As he crossed Palam Airport and took a right turn toward Hauz Khas, he saw a big hoarding that read, “35 officers arrested and 152 suspended on corruption charges,” presumably by a smiling gentleman, draped in a muffler, on the hoarding next to his claims.
Underneath the poster, a group of AAP workers were shouting slogans against Arun Jaitley over some DDCA irregularities. They were also demanding impartial probes into other corruption cases where individuals accepted or offered financial and other benefits, including gifts.
This had sent chills down the spine of Saint Nicholas, and he quickly hid his bag and took a u-turn, but AAP workers gave him a chase. As he reached Dwarka Road, he noticed a man running beside him.
“Who are you and why are you running?” a confused Santa Claus asked.
“I am that unfortunate person who has to make a bag full of promises before election and then run here and there for the next five years”
“No, Narendra Modi. I don’t see any reason why he should be running around unless people chase him out of the country.”
“Oh ok, so how would you resolve this DDCA issue?”
“Let’s see, maybe I will go off to Russia or France for a few days.
“Come, I will drop you off to a safe location,” Santa Claus offered him a lift.
“Chill, it’s ok. My flight is waiting for me,” he pointed toward an Air India flight in the distance.
“Anyway, now that I have come here with so many gifts, let me give you something. Here, merry Christmas!” he handed his a tea set.
“Wow, that’s cool! I can use it for my next chai pe charcha. Thanks! Bye!” he started walking toward the departure area.
Kejriwal, however, was watching everything from behind a tree and as soon as the gift changed hands, he came out and leaped toward Modi chanting, “Kabaddi, kabaddi,” but Modi dodged him and ran toward the gate, leaving Santa alone in front of that muffler-clad revolutionary.
Santa Claus tried to flee the scene, leaving his bag, sleigh, and reindeers, but by then other AAP workers reached the spot and they tied him with a muffler. A black Maruti Van arrived on the scene, and he was pushed inside and taken to AAP headquarters for questioning.
Speaking to The UnReal Times, Mr. Claus said, “This was the worst Christmas I’ve ever had. That man in muffler watched four movies in a row saying he had to review them, and when I was about to sleep, he started coughing severely. Guess, he’s whooping cough.”
Santa Claus kept asking us about the procedure to transfer the case to Bombay high court and if we knew someone called Salman Khan who, according to him, knows the correct procedure to obtain a bail.
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