Once when Gautam Buddha was passing through the door of Sudatta later Ananthapindika (One who feeds the helpless and orphan) he heard the voice of Sujata, Sudatta’s daughter-in-law who was scolding the servants. He later asked Sujata’s folks to bring her in his ashram where he gave her the Theravada teaching (meaning the teaching of the elders) which included the proper conduct of a wife. Buddha had mentioned 7 types of wives to Sujata and had asked her, what type she is, also, what type she would wish to be.
Type 1 – The Trouble-some or The Destructive Wife
Vadhaka or the destructive wife is the wife who always create trouble in her husband’s life. She is the lady who is always heading for unhappiness as she is not only merciless and bad tempered but also unfaithful towards her husband. This slayer wife is full of contempt towards her husband.
Type 2 – The Robber Wife or The Thief Wife
Chorisama or the thief wife is the one who robs her husband in every possible way. For instance she like a robber, robs all her husband’s hard earned money by spending it foolishly. In addition she spends the family money in unproductive work, and is disloyal to her husband in terms of finance.
Type 3 – The Tyrant Wife or The Master Wife
Swamibhariya or the tyrant wife is more like the husband than herself. She is mostly lazy and is self-centered. Most of the time she is cruel, often shouting at her own husband. She loves to gossip (Gossip Queen, going by the latest lingo) and is also very dominating.
Type 4 – The Motherly Wife
While the first three types of wives normally head towards unhappiness the next four direct towards the path of happiness, Out of which the very first type is the matusama or the motherly wife – The wife that takes care of her husband like a mother. Like a mother is kind and compassionate to her son, this wife makes sure that her husband is never devoid of her love and care. She even ensures her husband’s wealth is genuinely spent.
Type 5 – The Sisterly Wife
Bhaginisama or sisterly wife is the wife who shares the trait of a sister. Like a younger sister obeys her brother, this wife respects her husband and always listens to him. She is obedient to her husband and is modest. She desires to make him happy in all the ways she can.
Type 6 – The Friendly Wife
Sakhibhariya or friendly wife is the wife who is more like a friend. This type of wife takes her husband as her best friend. She remains faithful to him always and rejoices his company like a true mate. Yes, through love and friendship, she is totally committed to her husband.
Type 7 – The Slave Wife
Dasisama or the slave wife is the wife who is submissive. She is generally calm and poise whenever her mistakes are being pointed out. Being patient, she listens to her husband even when he is highly angry on her. She is obedient and remains faithful to her husband even if he uses harsh words against her.
These were the 7 types of wives as per Buddha. After hearing about these wives, Sujata was shameful of her behavior and said she would like to become the last wife.
These traits of wife exist even today – which type of wife are you, or which type of wife you wish to be?
By: Deepti Verma
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