We live in a hi-tech electronic age where we connect with unlimited number of people across boundaries. We are learning and exploring new cultures all the time. Our new generation is much smarter than we were. Surely it’s a productive development. And thus, our vocabulary has improved now. We have found new ways to resolve our loneliness & found new interesting methods to kill time. Net connectivity has overcome the barrier of countries/geographical distance we had earlier. Dominated mode of communication is via text messages. On account of internet data we have hundreds of friends yet we have no friends; those hundreds numbers turned into zilch due to lack of personal touch & more importantly the kind of language we initiate to connect with our virtual friend/s forgetting the fact that s/he is a stranger to us. There will be some corner of reluctance despite mutual goal to chat.
The Q & A Game
Below are few common funny questions almost everyone uses & faces. We don’t realize how risky these words could be; which act as a chat closer rather than chat starter. Because we all want to chat yet we don’t know what & how to chat. Below are the typical hypothetical example of how a boy initiates a conversation with a girl.
Q: A boy wrote to a girl: ‘Hi’ and waited for her reply.
A: If a married guy who eventually would get connect with a beautiful young girl/s, he often turns shy & conscious. Will she reply? Well, the expected answer for sure is ‘Hi or Hello’.
Q: ‘How are you’? Or commonly written as Howz you? (Internet slang)
A: What sort of answer can you give a stranger? Are you feeling down? Are you upset and for what reason? Are your feeling low? To avoid such questions, everyone generally replies. Yes, I am fine or good. Ultimately we have to an image too.
Q: And next is ‘What’s up’?
A: Well funny answer to that question should be a roof, old joke hence we don’t poke. We all are on WhatsApp asking each other what’s up! Are we really willing to discuss with a stranger what we are up to. What’s going in our life? What’s bugging us? No! We don’t. So the typical answer is; ‘Nothing much’ or ‘Nothing great or ‘It’s just routine’ or ‘Good going’.
Q: ‘What’s going on’? Or ‘What’s happening’? Or ‘How is life’?
A: Going on? Big-big question to answer! Actually everyone is so stuck up with his/her routine & so pissed off. We crib all the time, but we can’t start same crap with a stranger. As we have to portrait ourselves lovely and jovial person hence our common answer is. ‘Everything’s fine’ or ‘good going’. Damn, good liars we are!!
Q: Tell me something about yourself? Your hobbies, your likes & dislikes, your family?
A: Hobbies?? Are we seriously left out with any time & energy for hobbies in professional cycle; if yes then why would I be wasting time to know one stranger rather I would love to engage myself to do what I like to do? Coming to likes or dislikes. Such a vague question. But what to narrate to a stranger. I say to myself ‘Dude, hold your breath’ I am not a matrimony contestant. About family; who cares to remember about someone’s family details? Why do they keep asking? I just don’t understand this formula.
No One Knows Us
We try to manage the first round of questions politely with someone irrespective of what we don’t like it. But next session also starts with an almost similar set of questions or maybe with little variations. Later on, this becomes a routine. Every time it’s the same inane questions! Really these questions are a test of patience. It actually works as a speed breaker to all the eagerness we had to meet someone new & to chat with him/her. All exercises to know someone new have turned to nothing. We started this to break our loneliness, but we’re back to square one. That’s how these chats are becoming boring & losing its charm most of the time. We have hundreds of friends yet nobody really knows us.
The only way to break this monotonous chain is to think on what makes people an extrovert or an introvert. Why bombard these series of questions. We are not playing quiz game nor are we in an exam hall to answer any five questions. Try to make a conversation different & interesting. Think on ‘How to take it straight forward’. You are a different individual, then why the same style of chat. Try to provide comfort zone to a stranger, make them feel free especially with you. No matter if you’re the other sex. All we need is some ‘Human company’. So chat healthy, chat meaningfully, don’t talk just for the sake of it. Remember ‘the opposite pole appeals’ hence we choose to talk with the opposite sex. That’s it. No other fundamental science.
By Rajkumari Nagpal