Why do we sometimes cringe when intimate scenes come on…Read more to find out …

I admit it – I am one of those slightly pedantic viewers who are disturbed by things such as a fridge door left open or a tap left running in a scene and am inordinately bothered by the actor’s hair style changing from one to the next frame in the same scene. So it follows that there is much that bothers be about intimate scenes on screen.

We may have progressed way beyond billing doves indicating a kiss and embracing flowers indicating intercourse, but there is much that bothers me about on-screen intimacy unless it’s done right. I am about to offer wholly unwanted pointers about screen intimacy, in which I have zero expertise but many, rather definite opinions:

Practice Please   

Wrong: Clumsy and Abrupt 

vidya balan slaps warsi kissing scene1 Doing Intimate Scenes On Screen – A Checklist

Right: Passionate and Slow

right way to kiss Doing Intimate Scenes On Screen – A Checklist

There are some actors who’ve nailed onscreen intimacy; others – well they’re just clumsy. Nothing makes this viewer cringe as much as a clumsy kiss. Please practice peeps – or if you want you can get lessons from this guy. Emraan Hashmi seems to have had the most practice

Angle, Angle, Angle

angle Doing Intimate Scenes On Screen – A ChecklistApparently shot from the wrong angle, it can turn out looking ghastly! There is much that goes into the aesthetics of an intimate scene. I suppose the expertise of the director, cinematographer and cameraman matter. But what do I know? I’m just an opinionated so and so.

Ensure There’s No BO Please

on screen intimacy Doing Intimate Scenes On Screen – A ChecklistEvery time I see an intimate scene on screen I’m like “I hope they smell nice!” I mean what if the girl has to embrace the guy and he has armpit odor! Of what if he has to nuzzle her hair lovingly and she hasn’t shampooed for a week! I get terribly concerned about all this…

Erm… Oral Hygiene?

bad breath Doing Intimate Scenes On Screen – A ChecklistDID THEY BRUSH? Is that palak stuck in his teeth? Did she use Listrine? I’m sorry – they are trying hard to create erotica on screen, but I have all these mundane thoughts running around my head.

You’re Smelling Her Neck Dude!

emraan hashmi 5058714 GIFSoup.com  Doing Intimate Scenes On Screen – A ChecklistA lot! Either you’re trying to vary the action or the director told you to try something other than a straight up, full on osculation because the censors may not like it.

Get the Pesky Ear Hair

pesky hair in the way while kissing Doing Intimate Scenes On Screen – A Checklist

Its HD peeps! The camera lingers lovingly on everything – including pesky nose and ear hair. And what’s that I see girl? Sideburns? O hide your head in shame!

Turn the Other Cheek – You Have a ZIT!zit Doing Intimate Scenes On Screen – A Checklist

The makeup will help but it’s not magic. We can still see the zit! We viewers are terribly intolerant of pimples and other imperfections. We think it’s the job of actors to have perfect skin – you’re not allowed breakouts. You can sport a pimple the day you’re not shooting.

Must You Offer a Tonsillectomy To Your Co-Star?

kiss 5058731 GIFSoup.com  Doing Intimate Scenes On Screen – A ChecklistMr. Hashmi we know it’s supposed to be all passionate here, but tone it down a notch there would you? I have the words “Sucking Face! Sucking Face!” running round my head when you do that.

Sometimes, Subtlety is All

holding hands Doing Intimate Scenes On Screen – A ChecklistStroking that inner elbow, an affectionate peck on the nose, tracing the veins on the back of her hand, blowing the curls off his forehead, a smile secretly shared – these little gestures can appear more intimate and can convey more emotion than a full on lip lock sometimes. Besides if you haven’t had time to brush and shower, it may be best!

By – Reena Daruwalla

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